September Is Suicide Awareness Month: A Note from Caylin
Four things I wish my patients would know
September is Suicide Awareness Month, and I want to use this space to say something directly: if you or someone you know is having thoughts of suicide or self-harm, those thoughts deserve to be spoken out loud — to a provider, a trusted person, or a crisis resource.
I know that's easier said than done. There's so much stigma wrapped around these thoughts — a fear that saying them out loud will change how someone is seen, or set off a chain of events they can't control.
So let me address that fear head-on. Here are four things I wish people knew about suicidal thoughts as a provider:
1. Suicidal thoughts are far more common than most people realize
Having them doesn't mean someone is broken, dangerous, or "crazy." It often means they're in pain and their mind is searching for a way out of that pain. That's something that we can work through together and people who have these thoughts can go on to have happy, healthy lives with the right support.
2. Most people who disclose suicidal thoughts are not hospitalized
One of the biggest fears around disclosure is that it will immediately result in a psychiatric hold. For the majority of people, that's just not what happens. Most people receive outpatient care, with compassionate support and a plan. And when a psychiatric hold is necessary, it’s reserved for situations when someone is in immediate, imminent danger. And the purpose is to protect people, not to punish them for being honest.
3. When stigma keeps these thoughts hidden, they tend to grow
They take up more space. They get harder to manage. Bringing them into the open — with someone who can help — is often the first step toward taking the power back from those thoughts.
4. I will always ask
One of my core commitments as a provider is making sure my patients are safe — and that means I ask about suicidal thoughts directly if I am worried.
For example, I had a patient who had lost a parent to suicide and was struggling with depression and anxiety during the winter months. When I asked whether they were having suicidal thoughts, they were genuinely stunned. "No one has ever asked me that," they said, "even knowing what happened to my family."
That broke my heart. And it reinforced why I will always ask — not because I assume the worst, but because the question itself can be a relief. It says: you can tell me. I can handle it. You are not alone in this. I won't look at anyone differently for sharing these thoughts. My number one goal is to make sure every patient is safe and supported.
Resources worth knowing about
For anyone who isn't ready to talk to a provider yet, or who needs support outside of office hours:
988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline — call or text 988, available 24/7
The Trevor Project — for LGBTQ+ youth, especially trans and questioning young people: call 1-866-488-7386, text START to 678-678, or chat at TheTrevorProject.org.
Crisis Text Line — text HOME to 741741
A note: 988 is a valuable resource, and I want to be honest that it may not feel like the safest or most affirming option for everyone — particularly LGBTQ+ individuals. The Trevor Project is specifically designed to meet that community where they are.
No one has to navigate this alone. If you or someone you know is struggling, please reach out — to me, to a trusted provider, or to one of the resources above.
With love,
Caylin
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